Edited by Azizi Powell
This is Part I of a two part pancocojams series on the meaning in African American culture of the phrase "invited to the cookout" [or the BBQ] and disinvited to (or banned from) the cookout (or BBQ).
Part I provides definitions, comments, and article excerpts about the African American meaning of the phrase "invited to the cookout" (also given as invited to the BBQ" or disinvited to the cookout/BBQ".)
Click https://pancocojams.blogspot.com/2020/07/what-disinvited-to-cookout-means-in.html for Part II of this pancocojams series. Part II provides comments and excerpts about the phrase "disinvited to the cookout" (also given as disinvited to or banned from the cookout/BBQ".
The content of this post is presented for socio-cultural and linguistic purposes.
All copyrights remain with their owners.
Thanks to all of those who are quoted in this post.
-snip-
Click https://pancocojams.blogspot.com/2020/07/comments-about-excerpts-of-articles.html for the closely related 2020 pancocojams post entitled "Comments About & Excerpts Of Articles About "Karen" & The "Raisins In Potato Salad" Memes".
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PANCOCOJAMS EDITOR'S EXPLANATION OF "THE COOKOUT" /"THE BBQ" AS USED IN AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE
"The Cookout (or "the BBQ") in the context of African American culture is a reference for actual informal social events as well as the concept of informal spaces where Black people can relax, let down our guard, and “be [for] real” because the only people who are in those spaces are other Black people who have our well-being at heart and possibly some non-Black people who have proven that they are our allies (i.e. They also have our well-being at heart.)
African Americans may disagree which non-Black people have earned invitations to the Cookout (for that year).and which African Americans and/or other Black people have been dis-invited to the Cookout (for that year) and/or which African Americans and other Black people have been permanently banned from the Cookout.
****
COMMENTS & ARTICLE EXCERPTS
(Numbers are added for referencing purposes only)
Excerpt #1
From https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/invited-to-the-cookout
added and updated by Matt, 2019
" 'Invited to the Cookout' is an expression used to describe [an informal social gathering attended by members of]* the
African American community, exclusively. However, the phrase is often [also] used to
describe [an African American informal social gathering that is also attended by]* an outsider who has shown themselves to be an ally of or friend to
African Americans. The phrase has also been used to [refer to informal social gatherings by African Americans which] exclude members [of the African American community] that have expressed opinions that are antithetical to the interests of the
community.
-snip-
Pancocojams Editor's Note: I added the words in brackets to enhance/correct the meaning of these statements.
[...]
Origin
While it's likely that the expression had been used offline,
the phrase was first used on the internet on February 29th, 2019 [date correction
2016]. That day, the hashtag #WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout trended. That day,
Twitter[1] user @_BushidoB_ tweeted, "#WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout
Leonardo DiCaprio, Betty White, Justin Timberlake, Paul Wall, Steve Nash
(feel free to add to the list)." The tweet received more than 800 likes
and 500 retweets in three years (shown below)
Spread
That day, Twitter[2] user @MartelDHarris tweeted a
photograph of Adele and the caption "#WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout when
I saw Adele do her hand like this, I knew I could fix her a plate." The
tweet received more than 19,000 likes and 16,000 retweets in three years (shown
below, left). Throughout the day, others shared versions of the meme (examples
below, center and right).
[...]
#WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout
None. Them and their dry assed potato salad can go back
where they came from"
1:00 am 29 Feb. 2016"...
****
Excerpt #2
From https://www.huffpost.com/entry/invitations-to-the-cookout-have-now-been-rescinded_b_59e644e4e4b0e60c4aa365ad “Invitations To The Cookout Have Now Been Rescinded”
Our criteria for entry have just become more strict.
by Isis Miller , 10/17/2017; Updated Oct 24, 2017
“The cookout is a long-standing tradition in the African
American community dating back to God knows when. It’s a non-holiday specific,
(although they do often coincide with such holidays as Labor Day and MLK Day),
where Black families and friends gather for barbecue, spades games with
trash-talking drunk uncles, aunty rivalries over who made the best dish, Luther
Vandross blasting on the radio, and carefree Blackness at its peak. It’s the
safety of belonging. It’s where you can let your guard down and simply be
without having to swat at the incessant stings of microaggressions. It’s the
place where no code switching is necessary because it’s just you and your
tribe. It is being home in your skin with your kin.
But on occasion you will find that there is a white person
at these gatherings. It is assumed that said white person is “down,” the
precursor to what we now call being “woke.” They have earned their invitation
usually by having grown up with the family, dated someone in the family, or
simply having been around long enough to have been properly vetted. They know
the etiquette and the rules. They don’t say the n-word, even when its part of
the song. They don’t show up with some strange casserole. They bring a liquor
of some sort (Hennessy being the obvious choice). And they certainly don’t
invite other white people. And if anything were to go down they know it would be
their duty to speak to the police, using their privilege for the good of those
who lack it. They are simply happy to be there and we are happy to include them
on the fun and maybe even send them home with a plate. These recipients of the
illustrious cookout invite were the original allies.
These cookouts have, in popular culture, become synonymous
with our lives, our social justice movements, our sacred spaces, our places of
respect. So when a white person puts aside prejudice, stands up against racism,
and uses their whiteness for good, someone on Twitter will announce that they
are “invited to the cookout.” They can sit with us. They can join the spades
game (as long as they don’t renege). They can electric slide their way into the
inner circle of Blackness, status pending.
But that’s over. It’s cancelled.
And all because of this foolishness:
SwirlBae added three new photos October 10 at 7:10pm
“Get ‘Invited to the Cookout’!
Celebrate the allies, the partners, homies, and swirly plus-
ones in your life with a gift from the newest lines of inclusive
tees and hoodies from SwirlBae!
This is why we can’t have nice things.
The theoretical (and very much literal) cookouts we’ve been
hosting for generations, our sacred sites of unadulterated, live-out-loud
Blackness are being threatened by the forces of gentrification. We are about to
become a minority at our own events. Because just like every slogan, trend,
movement and hashtag we create, it is then coopted, commodified, and watered
down until it is unrecognizable or unredeemable. Because it is never enough for
white people to simply be happy as a spectator. They must own, take up space,
profit from Black culture, Black creativity, Black genius. And even when they
serve up poor and borderline insulting imitations of us, they are given the
credit.
Yet, we as Black folks are partly to blame. This is what
happens when we hold White “allies” to the lowest possible standard of human
decency and start passing out invitations to the places in our movement, our
community, and our lives without understanding that being an ally is not
static, it is action. It not comfortable and it is not stagnant. It is putting
in the work to unlearn behaviors, while confronting those in your family and
social circle about their own behaviors. It isn’t asking Black people to teach
you or offer suggestions, as there are already guidelines on how to do this
work. But this is the outcome when white people are allowed to speak for us
within our own movements. Its what happens when we allow this notion of
“solidarity” and “unity” to lull us into a false sense of security in thinking
our interests and well being will be centered. Its what happens when white
mediocrity is rewarded and heaped with praise. The places that have long since
been for us become colonized.
[…]
Nope. I’m not here for it anymore. The cookout is getting
too damn crowded. The caucasity will reach new heights and next thing you know
they are going to start bringing artisanal cheeses and unsweetened tea. Spades
will be replaced with backgammon. The wobble will be replaced by the hockey
pockey. Barry White will be replaced by Bruce Springsteen. Red Velvet cake will
be replaced with some dry ass bundt cake. This is not the world I want to live
in.
Once again, it is time we reevaluate how we protect our
magic and our spaces. … it is important to be ever more vigilant. So while I do
believe that white allies exist and are necessary to the success of movements
for social justice, it will take more than lip service and bomb ass potato
salad to get into the cookout.
And though I am guilty of inviting Colleen Dag (a.k.a “Becky
Knuckles”) over for a plate ― a decision by which I still stand ― until
stricter protocols are put in place, any and all invitations will be under
further review.
****
Excerpt #3
From https://www.theroot.com/white-folks-can-t-just-come-to-the-cookout-because-they-1792357577 "White Folks Can’t Just Come to the Cookout Because They
Perform Blackness" by Michael Arceneaux, 2/16/2017
"Whenever a white person does something remotely decent
related to black people or black culture—be it displaying basic decency or
performing some act with competence—a chorus of Negroes will declare, “They can
come to the cookout!”
For our new white readers, “the cookout” is essentially
what most of us across these United States refer to as a barbecue, though there
are other culinary equivalences that amount to the same thing (black folks
gathering for food, liquor and celebration as only we can): say, a crawfish
boil, a fish fry or something similar. So, when someone of African lineage
extends an invite to someone melanin-deficient to the metaphorical cookout,
they’re more or less saying you’re cool enough to hang with us now.
[….]
Maybe living in Habanero Hitler’s America has me more
skeptical than ever, but I do know a lot of you beloved black people need to
quit sipping pickle juice and calling it Champagne. Stop doing this cookout
thing for every sixth white person. Hell, not even all black people deserve to
come ’round us.
When they open the door for you, just say thank you. If
they have rhythm, cute for them. When they don’t shout a slur at you in anger,
just thank Black Jesus that you don’t have to catch a case. When they call out
racism, nod. It’s the least they could do. Don’t tell them to bring napkins to
the fake cookout.
It is Black History Month. Do better! Be more selective.
Most of all, remember that they probably voted for you-know-who or, at the very
least, know someone who did and ate their casserole anyway."
****
Excerpt #5
From https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzMzFGgmQOc&feature=emb_logo "Black Jeopardy with Chadwick Boseman - SNL" posted by Saturday Night Live, April 7, 2018
These comments were posted in that video's discussion thread between April 12-April 16, 2018
1. hulagirl67"**BLACK COOKOUT RULES AND REGULATIONS**1) Don't arrive until at least 75-90 minutes after the start
time designated on the invitation.
2) Don't come empty-handed.
3) NOBODY gets a plate before Big Mamma.
4) DJ must dos --> "Before I Let Go" by Maze,
"Love Like This" by Faith Evans, and "Summertime" by Fresh
Prince
5) Be prepared to Wobble.
6) Pros only at the spades table. This is for your own
protection.
7) Don't go into the house unless you have to pee.
8) Don't expect for your chair to still be unoccupied when
you return.
9) Only great aunts are allowed to fux with the potato salad
so no need to keep asking if anyone knows who made it.
10) For you take homers: If they did not come, put in on the
food, or help in any way, they do NOT get a plate. PERIOD."
**
REPLY
2. Jackeline Frost
"hulagirl67 as a black person I confirm this true"
**
REPLY
3. Zion, The Person
"As a fellow black person, I can also confirm
this."
**
REPLY
4. Esohe Osaghae
"These should be official rules, number 4 is so
true"
**
REPLY
5. Eastside Sage
"💯% Accurate"
**
REPLY
6. miggie2099
"you need to put this on a plate or wall scroll and
sell it for $10"
**
REPLY
7. Aaron Verico1
"On everything this list is true. Lol.
I'll also add that dominos apply as well, that only pros can
play at the table, at Black cookouts.
The stakes get even higher, if alcohol drinking is involved.
The sh&t*-talking and putdowns go to another level.
That's definitely been the case, with my dad, uncles, and some of my dad's
friends at the table. Lol.
I would also add "Outstanding" by the Gap Band; as
a must-play song at Black family reunions, or cookouts.
I wish my fam would have more of them. They're always a
blast. 💯"
-snip-
*This word is fully spelled out in that comment in that
YouTube discussion thread.
**
REPLY
8. InuMiroLover
"Kids must dance for the entertainment of their elders
and they dont get anything but hamburgers and hot dogs."
**
REPLY
9. julez4002
"4. September - Earth Wind Fire not Karen's cousin
Taylor Smith."
**
REPLY
10. chocprincess7
"Facts. Lol !"
**
REPLY
11. C1rcu1tBr34k3r
"Funny how this is Universal across the nation."
**
REPLY
12. Some Guy
"Black guy here. The list is legit."
**
REPLY
13. Candie P
"Lmaooo. Number 10 is right on the money in my family 🤣🤣🤣"
**
REPLY
14. Rohan Davey
"For #4, don't forget the Cha Cha Slide
**
REPLY
15. Raj Beekie
"I don't think the last one is well known. If it is, it
is not often precticed."
-snip-
"Precticed" is probably a typo for "practiced"
**
REPLY
16. Mia Moore
"Pretty accurate but for number 4 I would add
"Candy" by Cameo that's Always played"
**
REPLY
17. Lena Sabine
"And white people must be chaperoned by a FAMILY Member
of the HOSTING parties [such as] Mama or aunt Donna."
**
REPLY
18. SketchCat !!!
"hulagirl67 you forgot That once you get there you
better speak to everybody (which means whoever see you) before eating and let
them say ‘you got big last time I saw you you was thiiiiissss 👌🏾
small huh baby Child”"
**
19. Kindell Armstrong
"Theses are unspoken yet iron clad rules never to be
broken. If sed rules are broken then the US black councils will revoke your
black card and your children’s black card for up to 3 generations."
**
20. A Paddy
"You forget to add The Gap Band - Outstanding to the
playlist."
**
21. Ahmasi
"You forgot that children are only allowed to eat hot
dogs and hamburgs. Don't ask for a rib or steak."
**
22. PrincessAshley121
"Yea, Um... I'm from a Jamaican family and I cannot
relate to any of this at all. Sorry l;"
**
23. Sheryl Smallwood
"Quick question- when you bring something, can it be
from another culture (ex: Chilean/Argentian Empenadas) or does it have to be
American food? Asking for a friend."
**
REPLY
24. Ahmasi
"Sheryl Smallwood It depends. But as long as it was
approved by both the host and the cook ( They aren’t always the same person)
ahead of time, you should be golden"
**
25. frogers3
"Your list is suspect from rule 1. Who in the hell
sends invitations to a black cookout? Everyone who hears about it just shows
up!!!"
-snip-
Explanation for rule #3 - "Big Mama" is a term for the matriarch of the family (the oldest woman in the family) -This informal referent is used by some but definitely not all African Americans.
**
Explanation for rule #5 - "Wobble" = a line dance that is usually performed at African American weddings and get-togethers.
**
Explanation for rule #6- "Spades" a card game that is popular among many African Americans
Explanation for the comment given as #9: The name "Karen" in the comment "Karen's cousin Taylor Swift" is a general referent for a White woman and not the name used to refer to self-entitled and often racist White women who calls the manager or police on Black people (and sometimes also other people) for trivial reasons.
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This concludes Part I of this pancocojams series.
Thanks for visiting pancocojams.
Visitor comments are welcome.
