Congolese Weddings & Congolese Wedding Parties (Receptions) From The Perspectives Of Two White People

Brew Binsky, Dec. 21, 2019

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Edited by Azizi Powell

This pancocojams post showcases a YouTube video of a wedding in Goma, Democratic Republic of the Congo. This video was filmed by a White man and which presents his perspectives and experiences of Congolese weddings and wedding parties. A  few selected comments from this video's discussion thread are also included in this post.

This pancocojams post also presents an article excerpt about Congolese weddings from the perspective of a White woman whose husband works in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

The content of this post is presented for cultural purposes.

All copyrights remain with their owners.

Thanks to the publisher of this video and the author of this article. Thanks also to all those who are quoted in this post.
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Click http://maraseibert.com/?p=595 for a detailed article by Mara, Feb. 18, 2015 entitled "A Foreigner’s Guide To Congolese Weddings"

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SELECTED COMMENTS FROM THIS VIDEO'S DISCUSSION THREAD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QKflbl48Hk&ab_channel=DrewBinsky

Numbers are added for referencing purposes only.

Rebecca M, 2020
"This wedding is a bit different to the ones I see and I'm Congolese and Angolan living in the UK.

What we do is the dowry known as La dot or dote (usually takes place on Thursday) and can take place outside or at home like I've witnessed in the UK and Europe. Then the civil ceremony which usually takes place in Friday, then the wedding at church (On Saturday)

*It can vary from a year apart from these events or a day between

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Reply
2. Alicia Momat, 2020
"But what if those parts were done long ago??"

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3. Rebecca M, 2020
"@Alicia Momat  Normally they're very close so you basically have 3 weddings in one week such as Thursday, Friday and Saturday"

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4. Alicia Momat, 2020
"@Rebecca M  that not true, some people can pay the bride price one year before the church wedding, it's depends"

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5. Rebecca M, 2020
"@Alicia Momat  Oh yes it's true forgot to mention that yes it can vary"

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6. Alicia Momat, 2020
"@Rebecca M  yeah"

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7. Pesi Belau, 2020
"@Rebecca M  depends some ppl have 3 weekends. Some ppl have over a whole year."

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8. S, 2020
"Mine was done apart"

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9. Gorgeousss, 2020

"The Congolese weddings in Europe are sooo extra but I love my people🥰"
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"Extra"= over the top; doing more than is usually expected; extravagant

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ARTICLE EXCERPT
From https://adventuresincongo.com/2012/12/03/weddings-congo-style/
"Weddings, Congo-Style

3 December 2012 Mzunga

We’ve been to 3 Congolese weddings now – all employees of Seb’s – which have been fascinating cultural experiences. I’m now officially in love with Congolese music. And boy, do these guys know how to dance.

I wonder if it was the missionaries who long ago left their mark on this important life event, in that many customs are the same as ours. There are similar blessings, a white dress, flower girls, a first dance, a white cake, a large meal.

But it’s the customs that diverge from ours that I find fascinating. We have yet to attend an actual ceremony, which begins in the morning with a civil ceremony, then progresses to a church ceremony in the afternoon. Most people only attend the evening reception, and I can see why. It starts about 3 hours later than planned, and takes a LONG time. It’s a great party and a lot of fun, but you definitely shouldn’t plan on doing anything else the next morning. If the invitation says it starts at 7 and you show up at 8, you’ll be alone. At 9 some other guests will start arriving, but you won’t see the bride & groom before 10 or 10:30. The meal is usually served around midnight, and if you skip all the dancing and leave shortly afterwards, you might get home around 2am.

But it’s worth all the trouble. The evening is beautiful. When the bride and groom enter, they do so slowly and dramatically. There’s always music, usually modern and hip-hoppy. They dance as they walk to center stage. Well, they sashay, really. It’s elegant and natural, and something I have a hard time mimicking when it becomes my turn (more on that later). They don’t smile, they don’t look at anyone. They take their walk very seriously while the audience is on their feet clapping and cheering to the beat. It’s kind of a goosebump moment. As they walk there’s an emcee on a microphone introducing them and their wedding party. The bride wears a beautiful white dress, the groom a tux, the bridesmaids matching gowns in a style similar to bridesmaids everywhere. …

[…]

Then begins a set of rituals, like the traditional first dance. This differs from ours in that the guests come shower the bride and groom with wads of cash which the bridesmaids gather up into little easter baskets. Also, there’s no father-daughter dance broken by the new groom. Not sure why, but I’ve not yet seen the parents of the bride or groom play a role in any of these rituals.

Then there’s the presentation of the gifts. This is done individually, one gift-giver at a time, processional-style. More modern music, more sashaying. Each gift-giver presents their beautifully-wrapped box to the couple, and the 3-kiss greeting is given to all members of the wedding party. (Two women or man-woman greetings are 3 kisses, starting to your left, their right. The man-to-man greeting is a forehead bump in the same pattern of 3.)

Our “entourage” (Seb and I tend to go to these weddings with other Congolese members of the department) always has to pull us out of our chairs to join the processional. Our terrible dancing and awkward sashaying across the room always makes everyone laugh. No matter how much beer we’ve consumed over the prior 3-4 hours, it’s still highly embarrassing.

[…]

After the bride and groom entered the room, the attendants performed a little dance routine …. Then there was an elaborate presentation of not just the cake but the knife as well. The girl presenting the knife was dressed in a tribal outfit and danced to tribal music. Loved that. After several minutes moving down the aisle to her routine, she finally reached the couple. But before she could release the knife, the emcee announced that someone had to pay her. She stood there pulsating as if in a trance with the knife over her head until someone went to her with a $20 bill. Finally, there was also a comedian who performed a 15-minute sketch, entirely in very rapid French so I can’t tell you much beyond his first joke. He was an albino fellow, and I guess he took one look at us and announced that crap, now all his jokes were going to fail, because when he wrote them he planned on surely being the only mzungu* in the room.

After all the processions and introductions and gift-giving and rituals, around midnight we finally eat. The meals have always been impressive and elaborate. The drinks keep flowing too. After the meal, the real party begins. I love watching everyone dance. Kind of like our Macarena, there are lots of songs that everyone recognizes and jumps up to dance to in a coordinated style. Here’s an example that’s a bit modern, but it made me laugh. It’s an English-language song, from Nigeria, but very popular here (our gardener was playing it over and over on his phone the other day, though he didn’t understand it at all). The chorus goes something like “She took my money… but I don’t care” with motions to match.”…
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This article includes some photographs. The author also mentions including some videos in the article, but those videos aren’t there (anymore?).

In the "home" section of her blog, the author writes that she and her husband are from Arizona and moved to the Congo where her husband works.

*The author’s name “Mzunga” was given in the comment section. Here's one of the comments the author wrote this about her and her White husband dancing at Congolese wedding receptions:
Mzunga, 12 December 2012 at 08:17
"We’re getting better each time! No wait, the first wedding was the best. Before we realized everyone was laughing at us."
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Here's some information about the Bantu word "Mzungu"

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mzungu
"Mzungu in Africa

Also known as muzungu, mlungu, musungu or musongo, mzungu (pronounced [m̩ˈzuŋɡu]) is a Bantu language means “wanderer” originally pertaining to spirits. The term is currently used in predominantly Swahili speaking nations to refer to white people dating back to 18th century. The noun Mzungu or its variants are used in Kenya, Tanzania, Somalia, Malawi, Rwanda, Burundi, Uganda, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Comoros, Zimbabwe, Mayotte, Zambia and in Northern Madagascar (the word changed to "vozongo" in Malagasy, but the locals will still understand the word mzungu) dating back to the 18th century."..

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