Comments About The Sassy Black Woman Trope & Related Subjects

Angel Manson, May 6, 2024

Captions/Subtitles Included!

The Sassy Black Woman trope is a stereotype has unfortunately become a staple of American television, especially cartoons. And back in the early 2000s, it was inescapable. What is this trope? Where did it start? Why exactly is it so harmful? And will we ever escape it? Y'ALL...this is Infodump!

[...]

TIMECODES 0:00 - Intro 2:01 - Origins (cw: blackface & racist imagery) 6:27 - The Trope Today 12:07 - Why Is It So Harmful? 16:55 - Actresses & Legacies 19:42 - What Now? 21:50 - Good Takes -snip-
Here's a definition for the word "trope":
From https://www.reddit.com/r/EnglishLearning/comments/tpzwh9/what_exactly_is_a_trope/ 
"What exactly is a trope?"
life-is-a-loop, 2021
"Hey! I'm not a fluent [English language] speaker but let me give it a try. A trope is a narrative device that the audience will recognize across several stories. It's like a concept, or idea, or pattern that is used in different stories to convey some sort of meaning. Sometimes it may be seen as a cliché or stereotype, but it isn't inherently bad. In fact it's (almost?) impossible to tell a story without tropes. The shy and introverted woman who is noticed by the rich guy (Example: Me Before You.) The hero who gets his ass kicked only to get angry and find his true power (Example: Rocky Balboa.) The classic hero's journey (Example: Star Wars.) There are many. There are tropes about narrative, about characters, about topics, etc. It's hard to explain such an abstract idea lol but I hope it helps!"

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Edited by Azizi Powell

Latest revision- May 23, 2026 

This pancocojams post showcases a YouTube video essay about the Sassy Black woman trope.

This post also include some comments from this video's discussion thread that pertain to that subject and to certain closely related subjects.

The content of this post is presented for socio-cultural, historical, and educational purposes.

All copyrights remain with their owners.

Thanks to Angel Manson for this video and thanks to all those who are quoted in this post.  

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SELECTED COMMENTS FROM THIS VIDEO'S DISCUSSION THREAD

All of the comments in this video's discussion thread-including these selected comments-were published between January 2025 to May 2025.

These comments are given in relative chronological order based on their publishing date.

Numbers are added for referencing purposes only.

1. @ThePaganSun
"Uhhhh...why is "sass" such a bad thing to be for either white or black women???? Seriously, like is everything "bad" nowadays??? There's are stereotypes for every race and every sex. The most annoying and harmful problem I see with any of this is how people get frustrated when they expect their ethnic/gender representation to fit them personally to a T and then get offended when it doesn't. There ARE sassy Black women too. 🙄"

**
Reply
2. @GEO_theprotogen
"@ThePaganSun it's the pervasive portrayal of blk women. If there were more varied character representation them there'd be no issue. There's movies with white women as demure, soft, but also kick ass, bad ass, strong leads. Mothers, married and single. Complex. Childless. Living like bachelor's. Straight, lgbtq. Warriors, queens, warrior-queens. Strong historical figures. Villains. Anti heros. The list goes on. And they are more prevalent and more seen. That's the problem. Nobody wants to be the stereotypical side kick offering witty quips and advice in a sassy or angry tone. Yet it's more common than isn't. If you pay attention to how woc ate portrayed, esp black and latina, esp dark skinned, you'd see it. She always has the attitude, probably popping gum, probably hoop earrings, probably with an accent. Imagine now if most of the portrayals of white women being quiet, demure, frazzled with with 4.5 kids. And imagine we got all the main roles and white women were just goofy sidekicks. That's roles reversed. Imagine studios telling actors yes but more white and more womanly, and more suburban. If you're OK with that idea you 1. In denial 2. Think flat characters make for good stories."

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3. @cniknik9863
"Exactly! I love sassy, strong, independent characters in general, so seeing them in black girls and women makes me happy. However, I also know it is also seen as negative and a standard stereotype which limits us."

**
4. @Thisrat-g9x
"It’s insane the examples you see irl too. I’m still in school, and there’s this one black girl, I’m not close friends with her but she’s in a couple of my classes so I see her from time to time and she’s super nice, and people somehow got mad at her for her getting angry that a white person in our class said the n-word. She had every right to be angry because that’s really really shi--ty,* but people got mad. And I constantly see my poc friends, not even js the black ones, getting met with disgust for them being angry at something that they SHOULD be angry at. They’re VERY nice people and aren’t mad often. Just the other day, one of my poc friends was pissed because the sub teacher was being an asshole to her and was only calling on the white male students to answer questions. And the white male students were talking when they weren’t supposed to, throwing crap, being assholes, and the teacher did not care. But as soon as one of the poc or girls did the tiniest thing, he got mad. So my friend was rightfully pissed and ranting to me about it, and she  was met with everyone just telling her to calm down. It’s insane how much this sh-t* affects pocs to day lives."
-snip-
*This word is fully spelled out in this comment.

poc = People of Color

**
5. @ashleighberryman9280
"Trope was the bane of my existence. I went to a predominantly mixed school with all kinds of people. And of course every non-black student AND TEACHER expected black high school girls or women to act like that.

I was one of the few introverted black girls that didn’t want attention. I can not tell you the number of times a teacher THOUGHT I was involved in something because I happened to be one of the 3, 4 or 5 black girls in class.

I remember this stereotype got me pulled into the principles office because they thought I was involved in an incident and of course the 3 other (black) girls who were actually involved kept bringing it up that they “don’t know why she’s here” “we’re not her friend” “she was not involved” “we don’t talk to each other in class”. I mean they were just so convinced that if one black girl caused a scene in class it must have been all of us.

Literally groups of black girls getting “counseled” about happenings around the and the counselors looking like idiots when we asked why do they get EVERY BLACK GIRL instead of the ones that actually do stuff. Even the stereo-typical black girls were questioning why they kept pulling us ALL in to talk to us and not the people that actually get in trouble.  It was ridiculous."

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6. @AKA253
"as a white kid growing up with a lot of these cartoons, they TOTALLY messed with my earliest perceptions of black folks. obviously it was pretty easy to grow out of, mostly from being around REAL people, but i still remember one of my friends in high school, she was super quiet and stuck to herself a lot but was repeatedly told she had an "attitude" bc she chose to stick up for herself. the way she explained it to me was that it didn't matter if black girls in tv or movies had a "deeper character" outside of their stereotype- they were still the stereotype. the fact that any of that character is DEEPER than the "loud black woman" means it doesn't matter as much as her being a loud black woman."

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7. @VidWatcher01
"One of the most annoying scenes in cinemas history is in Mean Girls when the camera is panning through the lunch room to all the different troupe tables & when you get to the table with all the black students they were labeled, "The unfriendly black hotties" & it has bugged me for the last 20 years & worst I had seen black teenagers play into it all through junior high & high school I really hate that label. The funny thing was the 2 black individuals they show apart from the crowd weren't stereotypical on their own, especially the one with the cute vintage skirt Regina George had the very nerve to call ugly"

**
8. @LilacLosersOfficial
"It's very harmful, I had a white boy break up with me freshman year of highschool, and flinched when he did it and I was very confused as violence wasn't something associated with me, and he just said I thought you would hit me and I told him " why would I hit you for having feelings? " Mind you this boy had apparently only seen black folks on TV until his middle school year so it has to be the media he was consuming that involved black women. It was hurtful bc it illustrated he hadn't ever seen me as a person, just an experiment of stereotypes. It also showed that the time we spent together, he wasn't seeing past my color and actively denied knowing me in favor of believing stereotypes"

**
9. @debeebo
"one time in high school a friend asked me why i “speak white.” i told him i don’t “speak white,” i just speak properly. as if my blackness came with an entire  pre-set voice box 🙄"

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10. @CrazyManwich
"The only time in my experiences that bin have heard a black person being asked, “why are you talking white?” Was from another black person.  I always found that to be very odd."

**
Reply
11. @alyssad.2877
"Literally! So sad how speaking properly is associated with speaking "White" 😔"

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12. @Ciem90
"Loved this video! As a Black woman, I have something of a nuanced love/hate relationship with this trope. The hate? Everything pointed out—how it flattens Black women into one-note characters, essentially making us nothing more than the butts of a joke or entertainment for others. But the love? Growing up as a nerdy, introverted Black girl in an inner-city environment, I was bullied for being ‘weird’ (I was and still am this mixture of tomboyish & nerdy) and too quiet to stand up for myself. When I saw ‘sassy Black women’ on TV, I didn’t see a stereotype—I saw strength, confidence, and resilience, things I desperately wanted to have and honestly seeing these characters helped me find my own sense of confidence & strength through wittiness and a seemingly never-ending supply of observational sarcasm. My family is full of these women, and their ‘sass’ wasn’t just attitude, it was survival, wit, and wisdom. It’s not that "sassiness" is an inherently bad thing. Being confident, outspoken, and independent are all admirable traits in anyone. It’s that there this icky combo of it often being the only trait Black women are given & it's also these clearly admirable traits are suddenly seen as not when it's applied onto a Black woman. Instead of erasing it, we need more well-rounded Black female characters that show the full spectrum of who we are."

**
13. @joeychavarria-pc4qp
"i may not be black, but as a gay man who does theater, i have been told countless times to "use more sass" or "scream it out more" or "wiggle my neck/finger/etc." i can't imagine how much black women/people deal with this kind of treatment"

**
14. @Elizahassnapped
"Ever since I was a little girl i was always told i acted angry/looked angry and needed to "chill out" even when I was expressing joy or simply existing, I never understood why people said that and just assumed everyone hated me and I needed to put up a front of just agreeing with what everyone said and keeping a smile on my face, even though it went against who I was as a person. It also didn't help that i was a young Muslim girl and apparently expected (by people i didn't know) to always act "polite" or "quiet" "

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15. @squid-123
"it’s so weird seeing stereotypes for muslim women because i grew up in islam and was surrounded with so many muslim people that were all so different. being a muslim woman doesn’t automatically mean that you’re a goody-two shoes and incapable of doing wrong/sin or showing any strong emotions and i really think more people need to know that."

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16. @consberg1990
"I’m from a country that’s very homogeneously white (Denmark), so it’s pretty rare to have more than two people of colour in your classes, basically because there just isn’t that large of a population. I have always been a very loud person, so if I’m quiet it’s because I’m focused on something. On retrospect, I can easily identify the hypocrisy that when I went quiet people asked me “hey, are you okay?” Or “what are you working on?”. When my classmate, a black girl, was quiet people were asking her “hey, are you mad?”… My classmate was a soft spoken, gentle and creative person, so it’s “odd” how people (and kids) would default to thinking she was angry.

It’s insane how pervasive this stereotype is, even in a small country like ours, where these stereotypes aren’t even native to our culture. My thought is that people have adopted this stereotype because American-produced media has been so dominant around the world. Which is why video essays and the people affected by them (in this case black women) telling us about their experiences is so important. Thank you."

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17. @ch4ngethechannel
"15:21 - 15:34 Im a black teenager (who is afab, btw 😭) in school, who’s been loud and outspoken my whole life, and this part almost made me cry. I’ve been told by COUNTLESS of white teachers (im not even joking, none of my bipoc teachers tell me to be quiet.), to calm down, lower my voice, and what not.

And just hearing that all the time, you kinda teach yourself how to hate yourself. I hated my voice and how I talk because every time someone tells me to quiet down, or asks me , “Why do you have to be so loud.” It’s quiet embarrassing, to stumble over your words trying to give them an answer.

I’ve even had a black person say that I sound white, and I don’t say the N-word properly??? dawg, ur so serious????

 

anyways, enough of my rambling, y’all be safe ❤️
-snip-
“afab-“assigned female at birth

Commonly abbreviated as AFAB (assigned female at birth) or AMAB (assigned male at birth). Bigender (adjective) – Describes a person whose gender identity combines two genders.” Source: https://www.uwmedicine.org/practitioner-resources/lgbtq/lgbtq-inclusion-glossary

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18. @angelmansonart
"I'm glad it resonated with you!! Please be unapologetically yourself even if others give you a hard time for it ❤️"

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19. @Rochelle94
"I was called "white girl" because i liked rock n roll, i didnt just listen to hip hop music but all types of music, im not loud and i pronounce my words "properly". Thank you for speaking on this subject. Hopefully the negative narrative thats been bestowed upon black girls will change soon."

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20. @sabir1208
"As a sassy bw, its annoying because I know a lot of bw who are NOT. And i remember when I would not be feeling well or just feeling quiet some days and then people would still bother me when I already said Im fine. I remember in high school several people telling me I thought I was better than everyone else at first. We cant be loud or quiet, everything qe do is scrutinized by everyone else AND WHY??????"
-snip-
bw= Black woman

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Examples Of The Game Song "Sissy In The Barn"

Edited by Azizi Powell

[Update March 15, 2015]

This post presents lyrics, performance instructions, and comments about the singing game "Sissy In The Barn" ("Sissy In De Barn").

Brief sound files of "Sissy In The Barn" ("Sissy In De Barn" are included in this post. Unfortunately, to date, I've not been able to locate an online video of this singing game.

The content of this post is presented for recreational, folkloric, educational, and aesthetic purposes.

All rights to this material remain with their owners.

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GENERAL OVERVIEW
Bessie Jones, African American performer, folklorist, and co-author of Step It Down, a collection & study of African American children's singing games in the Georgia Sea Islands, described singing games as forms of dramatized play. During that dramatized play, children take on the role of certain characters and sing & act out the words of those characters. "Sissy In The Barn" is a good example of African American children's game song as a theatrical play. Read the performance instructions for Example #2 for a great example of this singing game as theatrical play.

The earliest date that I've found thus far for the game song "Sissy In The Barn" (under the name "Little Sister Won't You Marry Me") is 1922. That example is included in Thomas W. Talley's book Negro Folk Rhymes: Wise And Otherwise posted online at http://www.gutenberg.org/files/27195/27195-h/27195-h.htm

A 1937 version of this song can be found at http://www.loc.gov/folklife/guides/Children.html AFS 884B4-886B3: Eight songs sung by older children. Brandon, Mississippi, March 9, 1937.
886A3: "Sissy In The Barn". I believe this version is the same as that given as Example #1.

Notice that the version of "Sissy In The Barn" that is given below as Example #9 is included on a 1978 recording of Caribbean songs & games and ascribed to Trinidad. To date, I've not found any other indication that "Sissy In The Barn" is of Caribbean origin. If that ascription is correct, my guess is that someone in Trinidad either learned this song by visiting the United States South or by having contact with someone in the United States South.

For explanations of various words found in versions of "Sissy In The Barn", read my comments in the section below entitled "Word Meanings".

FEATURED EXAMPLES
[Posted in chronological order]

Example #1:   [added September 13, 2020]

The Brownies' Book

Vol 1. September, 1920 No.9

http://childlit.unl.edu/brownies.192009.html

PLAYTIME

Four Games from St. Helena

Arranged by JULIA PRICE BRURRELL

SISSY IN THE BARN

The children form a circle and join hands.

One child stands in the center—a boy. All sing to child in center:

Sissy in the barn, join the wedding!

Sissy in the barn, join the wedding!

(Child in center chooses a partner who joins him). All sing:

Sweetest li'l couple I ever did see.

Barn! Barn!

Arms all around me! Barn!

Children in center put arms around each other. All sing:

Say, little Sissy, won't you marry me?

Two in center stand opposite each other and point fingers at each other saying:

Stay back, girl (or boy), don't you come near me.

All them sassy words you say!

O, Barn! Barn!

(All sing) Arms all around me!

Say, little sissy, won't you marry me? Marry me?

Two in center courtesy to each other—the child who was chosen partner remains and the game starts again.
-snip-
Thanks to Katharine Capshaw for alerting me to  the  monthly magazines entitled The Brownies Books. Click that link to find information about those magazines and to read the content of each month's magazine from 1920 through 1921. 

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Example #2: LITTLE SISTER, WON'T YOU MARRY ME?

Liddle sistah in de barn, jine de weddin'.
Youse de sweetest liddle couple dat I ever did see.
Oh Love! Love! Ahms all 'round me!
Say, liddle sistah, won't you marry me?

Oh step back, gal, an' don't you come a nigh me,
Wid all dem sassy words dat you say to me.
Oh Love! Love! Ahms all 'roun' me!
Oh liddle sistah, won't you marry me?

From: Negro Folk Rhymes, Wise and Otherwise: With a Study
Author: Thomas W. Talley; originally published in 1922
E-book edition: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/27195/27195-h/27195-h.htm

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Example #3: Sissy In The Barn; Eva Grace Boone
From the Album Field Recordings Vol. 4: Mississippi & Alabama (1934-1942)[Sound file/MP3 Download]; [1937]?

SISSY IN THE BARN*
Sissy in the barn, barn the levee**
Prettiest little couple I ever did see,
Oh bon bon***, put your arms around me,
Say little sissy, won't you marry me?

Oh step back now, don't you come near me,
All those sassy things you say
Oh bon bon***, put your arms around me,
Say little sissy, won't you marry me?

From http://www.amazon.com/Sissy-In-The-Barn/dp/B000V978MI

*Transcription by Azizi Powell from the sound file whose link is given above.

**This word might be "de lairy".

***These words might be "barn barn".

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Example #4: field recording (Julia Griffin and group; Women's Dormitory; State Penitentiary, Raiford, Florida; June 4, 1939; collected & recorded by Alan Lomax & Ruby T. Lomax)

SISSY IN DE BARN
Sissy in de barn, join de wedding
Prettiest little couple I ever did see,
Oh, bye-an'-bye put yo' arms around me
Says, little sissy, won't you marry me.

Oh, step back, gal, don't you come near me,
All those sassy words you say
Bye-an'-bye, throw yo' arms around me
Pretty little sissy, won't you marry me.

From http://lcweb2.loc.gov/diglib/ihas/loc.afc.afcss39.2718b3/default.html

These singers were African American women.

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Example #5: Altona Trent Johns Play Songs Of The Deep South (The Associated Publishers, Inc.; 1st edition; 1944)

My comment:
Altona Trent Johns' book includes two versions of "Bon Ton or Sissy In De Barn" (pages 1-5) Two of these pages are drawings. One drawing shows Black girls & Black boys outdoors forming a circle [with the children not holding hands] and a girl & boy in the center of the circle. The other drawing shows a Black girl and Black boy outdoors dancing the two step [with no other children in the drawing.] A piano score is provided for the first "arrangement" of this song. The words to the second arrangement of "Bon Ton" are given within a piano score.

Here's the lyrics and directions from that book:

BON TON or SISSY IN DE BARN
Sissy in de barn,
O jine de weddin'
Sweetes' li'l' couple I e'er did see,
O Bon Ton, put yo' arms around me!
Say, Ii'l' Sissy, Won't you marry me?

Get back, gal.
Get yo' arms from 'round me!
All those sassy words you say,
O Bon Ton, put yo' arms around me!
Say, Ii'l' Sissy, Won't you marry me?

Get back, boy,
Don't put yo' arms around me!
All those foolin' words you say,
O Bon Ton, put yo' arms around me!
Say, 'li'l' Sissy, Won't you marry me?

"Sissy" is affectionate for "little Sister" [This is the author's statement and her performance directions follow.]

Directions
Any number may participate. The players form a large circle with a boy in the center.
They clap hands on each beat throughout as they swing.
1. Boy in center advances in short, skip-like steps to a girl in the circle and stops in front of her on the words, "li'l' couple".
2. He catches girl's right hand in his.
3. They take position for social dancing.
4. They move to center and dance the "two step" inside the circle.
5. Pushes girl gently from him
6. Shakes finger in mock anger at girl, meanwhile skipping back to her.
7. Same as (2)
8. Same as (3)
9. Same as (4)
10. Reverse (5), i.e. girl pushes boy from her.
11. Reverse (6)
12. Use steps (2), (3), and (4) again.
13. At the conclusion of the above directions this girl and boy join the ring, some other boy goes to center and the dance is begun again.

This should be sung and danced gaily and not dragged out.
-snip-
BON TON
"This second arrangement of "Bon Ton" can be played by more advanced pianists. It would provide a more colorful and more difficult accompaniment for the dance and could also be used as a piano solo".
-snip-
Altona Trent Johns provides more information provided about how the piano solo is played. The lyrics are the same as above.

Notice that this song is performed by a co-ed group of children (females & males). I believe this is the earliest way this courting game song was played.

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Example #6: [late 1930s] From http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=122276&messages=21
Subject: RE: lyr/info req: Sissy/Missy in the barn... (Bon Ton)
From: GUEST,Betty Pierce
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 09:03 AM

"When I was in the 4th and 5th grades in a little country school in North Alabama, we played this game, both girls and boys. I cannot remember how the went but we were in a circle. This is how we sang the song......................Sissy in the Bon, was the name of it or that is what we called it.

Sissy in the bon,
bon in the lerry.
Prettiest little girl that I ever did see.
Oh bon, bon, put your arms around me.
Say my little sissy won't you marry me.

Oh step back gal, don't you come nigh me,
All those sassy words you said.
Oh bon bon put your arms around me.
Pretty little sissy, won't you marry me

...........This was in the late 1930's. I will be 85 years on April 18, 2014. The reason why I remember the song so well is that I guess I liked it and I would sing it at home all the time. My uncle still at home at time learned it to and it stuck with him as long as he lived. I have a tape with him singing it. As I remember we would sing it real fast.
-snip-
I changed the formating of this comment for this post.

The word "nigh" in this example may be a typo for "near".

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Example #7: The Archive Of Folk Song;
B. A. Botkin [prior to 1950]
From
http://www.loc.gov/folklife/LP/PlayandDanceL9_opt.pdf

SISSY IN THE BARN
Sissy in the barn, the levee
Prettiest little couple I ever did see,
Oh barn, barn, put your arms around me,
Say little sissy, won't you marry me?

Step back now, don't you come near me,
All those sassy things you say
Oh barn, barn, put your arms around me,
Say little sissy, won't you marry me?

-snip-
Folk Music Of The United States
Music Division
Recording Laboratory AFS 19
Library of Congress, Washington [No date is given for this recording. However it must be 1950 or earlier as the cover art for the album is documented to have been donated in 1950.]

There are no collector's notes or performance instructions are given for this example.

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Example #8: Carver Elementary School
Recorded: May 6, 1954

From http://www.floridamemory.com/audio/cd1.php 1954 Florida Folk Festival White Springs, Florida
(S 1576, reel T76-1).

Sissy in the barn barn a lairy
pretty little sissy I ever did see
Oh bon bon, throw your arms all around me
little sissy won’t you marry me.

Oh step back sissy, don’t you come near me
all those sassy words you say
Oh bon bon, throw your arms all around me
little sissy won’t you marry me.

[both verses repeated]

-snip-
Transcription by Azizi Powell from the download/sound file given as #15 on that list. This rendition is performed with the children clapping their hands and either stomping their feet while standing or the sounds of their feet while they move around.

Although the race of the children isn't noted, they are probably African American as "Carver Elementary School" was probably named after the African American scientist/inventor George Washington Carver.

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Example #9: Folkways 07858, Songs for Children from New York City (1978)

SISSY IN DE BARN
Sissy in de barn, de barn de leary.
Prettiest little gal I ever did see.
Oh barn, barn put your arms around me.
Say pretty sissy won't you marry me.
Oh step back gal*, don't you come near me.
All those sassy words you say.
Oh barn, barn put your arms around me.
Say pretty sissy won't you marry me.

The children circle holding hands during the first part of the game. The child in the middle picks a partner and dances with him. The partner rejects the child with exaggerated movements on "step back gal." They reconcile and dance again at the end. The partner now becomes the new "Sissy."

-snip-
* "Oh step back gal" is spoken.

Collected by Alan Lomax from African American children.

Posted by Joe Offer on 14 Jul 09 - 01:59 PM on http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=122276 "lyr/info req: Sissy/Missy in the barn... (Bon Ton)"

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Example #10: Caribbean Songs And Games: Puerto Rico, Haiti, Trinidad, Jamaica, The Bronx, 1978 [Trinidad]

SISSY IN THE BARN
Sissy in the barn the barn de lerie
Sissy in the cupboard, the cupboard we'll see,
Oh by and by, I'm the one who
Say little Sissy won't you marry me.
Just step back girl
Don't come near me
Say little Sissy won't you marry me.

The children are in a circle with "Sissy" in the middle. She chooses a partner on "Oh barn." On "step back," she pushes the partner from her, points her finger and shakes her hip. They reconcile at the end and she leaves her partner (usually a boy) in the middle of the circle to start again.

-snip-
http://media.smithsonianfolkways.org/liner_notes/folkways/FW07856.pdf Band 3A
Folkways Records Album No FC 5856
Copyright 1978 Folkways Record
Recorded and annotated by Edna Smith Edet

-snip-
Notice that this example is the only one presented which doesn't include the line "All those sassy things you say".

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MEANINGS OF CERTAIN WORDS IN THIS SINGING GAME
Here is a list of words from the game song "Sissy In The Barn" whose meanings may be unclear. Many of these featured words help document the evolution of that song over a period of time. The changes in these lyrics are probably a result of folk etymology - mishearing or misremembering words, or unknowingly replacing an unfamiliar word, phrase, or sound with a familiar word, phrase or sound. Click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folk_etymology for more information about "folk etymology".

"Sissy"
"Sissy" is an affectionate nickname for females, from the word "sister". This nickname is used by family members and non-family members regardless of the females' personal name.

The Caribbean game song "In A Fine Castle" which includes the repeated line "do you hear my sisi-o" is another example of a game song that includes this meaning of the nickname "Sissy".

Click http://pancocojams.blogspot.com/2012/08/two-examples-of-caribbean-game-song-in.html and http://pancocojams.blogspot.com/2012/08/example-of-in-fine-castle-brown-girl-in.html for pancocojams posts about the song "In A Fine Castle".

A somewhat familiar use of the nickname "Sissy" is Anglo-American actress "Sissy Spacek".

The song title "Sissy In The Barn" simply describes where the young woman called "Sissy" is. The title "Missy In The Barn" given in the Mudcat discussion forum link above is probably a misremembering of the title by the person seeking information about that song.
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"De" - "the"
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"O'lairy, "o'leary"; "de lerie"
"O'lairy" and similarly spelled words are forms of a phrase found in English language children's playground rhymes from at least the mid twentieth century on. Here's an excerpt from a Mudcat discussion forum post which includes a rhyme with the word "o'lairy" and which provides information about the source & meaning of the word "o'lairy":
"Chicago, early 1940s:

One, two, three a'leary,
Four, five, six a'leary,
Seven, eight, nine a'leary,
Ten a'leary, USA!...

[Folk singer] Jean Redpath pointed out, as she was doing one of these ball-bouncing/leg-cross-over games, that there is a line in [the British folk song] Piers Plowman about beggars sitting at the city gate, "Legs aleery." I'm not sure of the spelling, but the meaning was clear: they had their legs crossed, i.e.: sitting in what we call "Indian fashion." In the game, of course, the player crosses her leg (this is usually considered a girl's game) over the bouncing ball."
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=11034 Jazz Lyric '1 2 3 O'Lairy' - Count Basie 1940; posted by Sandy Paton; 19 May 99 -10:08 PM
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According to this information quoted by Sandy Paton, "o'lairy" pronounced "oh-LEER-ree"] means "legs crossed". Traditionally, when children bouncing a ball say the word "o'lairy" as part of a rhyme, they were supposed to raise one leg and bounce the ball under that leg. Or when children playing jump rope (skipping rope) say "o'lairy", they were supposed to cross their legs. Nowadays, in the United States, that movement is called jumping "criss cross".

However, I don't mean to imply that children singing "Sissy In The Barn" crossed their legs when they sang the words "o'leary". Actually, I believe that they probably did no such thing. In my opinion, the traditional meaning of the word "o'lairy" became largely unknown to children in the United States, if not elsewhere, decades ago. Children sang or recited "o'lairy" because it was/is a part of a rhyme or song, but they didn't/don't attach any particular meaning to it.

My opinion is that children started singing "o'leary" at the end of that line in "Sissy In The Barn" because they were familiar with the "o'leary" at the end of lines of text in children's rhymes & game songs. The "jine the wedding" with its outdated word "jine" was eventually dropped and was replaced by the words "de barn o'lairy" ["the barn o'lairy"] ["Sissy in the barn the barn o'lairy"].

Also notice how the words "o'lairy" [and similar sounding forms] were changed in Example #4 to the words "the levee". A levee is "an embankment built to prevent the overflow of a river." http://www.thefreedictionary.com/levee

In addition, it should be noted [no pun intended] that the words "the barn o' lairy" has five beats while the words "jine the weeding" has four beats. Yet Black children would have no difficulty whatsoever elongating the word "wedding" to make the words "the barn o'lairy" substitute for those earlier words.
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"Bon Ton" and "Bye and Bye"
Example #3 of "Sissy In The Barn" posted above gives "Bon Ton" as the alternate title for that song.

"Oh bye and bye" in the line "Oh, bye-an'-bye put yo' arms around me" may have been an unintential folk etymology replacement for the words "bon ton".
"Bye and bye" means "eventually". In my opinion, that meaning doesn't fit the theme of the song as well as the meaning for the words "bon ton".

In the lyrics "O Bon Ton ["oh bon bon"] put your arms all around me", bon ton [bon bon] is similar to the affectionate terms "my sweetie, "my honey" or "my dearest one". However, "bon ton" also carries a connotation of a person with high fashion & sophistication.

From http://www.thefreedictionary.com/bon+ton

a. A sophisticated manner or style. b. The proper thing to do. 2. High society. [French : bon, good + ton, tone.] bon ton (French) [bɔ̃ tɔ̃]. n Literary. 1. sophisticated ...

The Zydeco song "Bon Ton Roulet" is a somewhat familiar use of the words "bon ton". According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bon_Ton_Roula
" "bon ton roulet" ("bon ton roula") is a phonetical approximation of "bons temps rouler", Louisiana Creole French for "good times roll" as in "Laissez les bons temps rouler" or "Let the good times roll", an unofficial slogan for New Orleans and the Mardi Gras celebration."
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"Jine" - "join"
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"Yo'" = "your"
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"Sassy"
In the context of the line "all those sassy words you say", "sassy" means "improperly forward or bold".

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sassy

Also, click http://pancocojams.blogspot.com/2011/09/changing-meanings-of-being-sassy.html for my comments about the changing meaning of "sassy".

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ADDITIONAL EXAMPLES OF FOLK ETYMOLOGY
Example #7 as found above, gives the line "Sissy in the cupboard the cupboard we’ll see". This line is an obvious folk etymology form. The word "cupboard" may have been used since a cupboard may have been more familiar to those children then a barn. The ending words "we'll see" may have been a folk etymology replacement for the words "the levee".

Comparing it with the other presented examples, this line in Example #7 "Oh by and by, I'm the one who" seems like it is incomplete.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND THANKS
Thanks to all those who have shared examples of this song in records, books, blogs, and otherwise.

Thanks for visiting pancocojams.

Viewer comments are welcome.