Edited by Azizi Powell
This pancocojams post presents an excerpt of a 2019 article by Vikram Doctor entitled "The evolution of 'auntie', from a respectful greeting to an annoying title".
This post also presents selected comments from a quora.com discussion thread about the use of the referent "Auntie" or translated terms that mean "auntie" in India.
Both of these online sources notes that in India the word 'Auntie' may refer to women who aren't necessarily biologically related to the person using that term, and may also have negative connotations regarding that person's age and/or physical appearance.
The content of this post is presented for socio-cultural purposes.
All copyrights remain with their owners.
Thanks to Virkram Doctor for writing this article and thanks to all those who are quoted in this post from that quora.com discussion thread.
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Click https://pancocojams.blogspot.com/2021/04/reprint-of-2016-stabroek-news-letter-to.html for the closely related pancocojams post entitled "Reprint Of A 2016 Stabroek News Letter To The Editor About The Use Of The Terms "Auntie" And "Uncle" In The Caribbean & In Some Other Nations Worldwide".
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ARTICLE EXCERPT
From https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/the-evolution-of-auntie-from-a-respectful-greeting-to-an-annoying-title/articleshow/67392267.cms?from=mdr "The evolution of 'auntie', from a respectful greeting to an annoying title"
Vikram Doctor, Last Updated: Jan 05, 2019
…"Auntie has long been an awkward term. In Rupert
Christiansen’s quirky study, The Complete Book of Aunts, he notes that
in addition to insinuating age, it often adds layers of class and race. Vikram
Doctor reports.
Christiansen writes that the Oxford English Dictionary records ‘auntie’
as used for African-American women, perhaps slightly older servants, like Mammy
in Gone With the Wind.
In 1984 the Times of India (ToI) noted a similar usage in
communist China where ‘auntie’ meant a maidservant. The superficial respect
presumably concealed an inequality of work that was at odds with communist
ideology: “Senior party officials have, of course, long had the benefit of
domestic help, but today others can apply for aunties at the newly set up
Housework Service Co.”
The Indian usage of auntie has evolved rather differently.
Before it took on the slightly mocking tone given to it today, auntie managed
to combine both respect and familiarity. Far from being used downwards, it was
used where respect was required, but not the level of formality which demanded
a word like ‘ma’am’. Christiansen quotes one view that it emerged when “middle
and upper-middle class children who go to English medium schools address their
friends’ mothers as Auntie.”
[…]
At the start of his book Christiansen notes that the basic term, aunt, is not
that universal: “not all languages have bothered to develop a single word to
describe a mother’s or father’s sister.” Many languages, as with many in India,
developed different terms for maternal and paternal relatives in order to make
clear the different community obligations or duties that attached to them: all
the variants of dada-dadi, kaka-kaki, phua-phuphi and so on.
Christiansen quotes the anthropologist Jack Goody to explain
how undifferentiated terminology of aunt and uncle “developed first in the late
Roman Empire, then spread through the Romance languages, reaching England with
the Norman Conquest.” This delinking from specific family linkages freed aunts
to become aunties, older ladies who were addressed with some respect, but also
some intimacy.
It was this balance, combined with the specifically English
origin, that expanded the usage in India. Auntie could be used in contexts
where an Indian term would have been inappropriate, since the family linkage
didn’t exist, or a bit too intimate, as with simpler terms like behenji, didi,
akka or edathi, all broadly meaning elder sister.
As Nergis Dalal noted, writing in ToI in 1987, about how
servants and delivery boys were increasingly using auntie and uncle: “Perhaps
the use of those two words offers a passport from one human to another – an
easy accessibility producing the feeling of social equality.” Viewed this way
the ascent of uncle and auntie is a positive step away from the Rajera
obsequiousness of sahib and memsahib.
Dalal also suggests where the change has come from. When she
admonishes her servant girl for calling a neighbour ‘uncle’ “she looked at me
bewildered: ‘But everyone says it,’ she said, ‘even on TV. What does it mean?’”
When Dalal explains it means chacha “she was aghast. She certainly wouldn’t
dream of addressing the doctor as ‘chacha’ but uncle was an English word,
incomprehensible, culturally endorsed and transcending all class barriers,
making her feel more like the people she watches on television.
[…]
The use of auntie as a respectfully friendly term shows how
we can use a word from a different language to help us make connections that
our native tongues might have constrained."...
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COMMENTS FROM QUORA.COM DISCUSSION THREAD:
From https://www.quora.com/What-are-auntys-as-referred-to-in-Indian-culture
What are auntys as referred to in Indian culture?
1. Shekhar Chitnis, lived in India (1961-1980), Answered August 27, 2018
"In most Indian languages there are specific names for
specific relations. For example, in Hindi, a typical “Aunt, or Aunty” of the
western culture can be Chachi (father’s brother’s wife), Mami (Mother’s
brother’s wife), Bua (Father’s sister), Maushi (Mother’s sister), etc. By the
way there are corresponding names for male counterparts as well — Chacha, Mama,
etc.
Originally, (don’t know when this started but I would assume
first ¾ of the 20th century) the term Aunty was usually used by relatively more
westernized, middle class, educated Indians for friends of mother (and
corresponding “uncle” for father’s friends). The “flock” of mother’s friends
then collectively became aunties. In other words, earlier it took a village
(and real uncles and aunts) to raise nephews and nieces, and now with
geographically mobile urban nuclear families, it still takes a village, but now
with friends of parents becaming the surrogate uncles and aunts. As some
mentioned, despite modernization, respect for elders is still and ingrained
value in the culture, so uncle and aunty is not just an honorific, but also
imparts the elders with a “right and duty” to guide, discipline and protect the
young.
This, to date, remains the main context for the use of word
“Aunty”.
Having said that, similar to Bertie Wooster’s aunts in the
books by P.G. Woodhouse’s, Indian aunts are associated with stereotype
behaviors and traits typical of Indian aunts too — nosy, noisy, intrusive,
gossipy, overweight, catty, etc. — all in good fun.
Today, with the democratization of the society and increased
Anglicization of language — Aunty and Uncle have also become a more generic way
of addressing older people. A trend, arguably, encouraged by older people who
would prefer to be called uncle and aunt instead of grandpa and grandma.
So I am “uncle” to scores of “nieces and nephews” - not just
my friend’s kids, but my kid’s friends as well as many young students, who I
come across when I speak at panels at various forums.
**
Reply
2. Rudy Ti, December 27, 2018
"People call girls aunty to make fun of their age as girl who
25 to 30 is an aunty but boys who are 25 to 45 would still be called as
bhaiya.Aunty is not a respectable term anymore.its is used to show girls that
they are old .Sometimes boys would hit on her and if she doesn't respond
positively then they will call her aunty.They try to point out that she is no
longer beautiful."
**
3. Sankrant Sanu, An Indian and American with interest in
cross-cultural studies, Updated July 13, 2020
"Indian culture has had a very nuanced understanding of
relationships. Every familial relationship has a distinct name. For instance in
the North mama would be mother's brother, mausi would be mother's sister.
Chacha for father's younger brother, tau for father's older brother, jethani
for husband's older brother's wife, devarani for husband's younger brother's
wife and so on.
Like Eskimos are said to have 70 words for snow because they
had such a nuanced and close relationship with it, so it was for Indian
relationships.
With anglicization and Westernization much of the nuance
started getting lost. So Aunty (from Aunt) started standing for all female
relatives of the mother's generation and then even parent's friends and then
for any mother-aged woman. Further taking from the West where middle-aged meant
less desirable and women's worth being measured in sexual desirability, Aunty
is also now also use pejoratively for someone “past their prime" in terms
of desirability. Another equivalent, used by the social class structure in
India which uses English as an elite marker is “behenji.” This is used
pejoratively from a non-English speaking or traditional girl from a
rural/semi-rural background who is not fluently English-speaking and thus not
“cool” or desirable.
**
4. Vivek Braganza, lives in India, Updated August 9, 2020
"Short answer: any biologically unrelated female, of a
generation preceding your own. Alternatively, a mild insult often implying
advanced age.
Long answer: Indian culture emphasizes family relationships,
and the ‘joint family' system is quite prevalent here. Tradition values respect
for ‘elders', generally anyone older - hence perceived to be wiser - than
oneself. Most Indian languages have nouns for very specific relationships, here
are some examples from Hindi, the lingua franca of India -
Parents: Maa, Papa. Honorific Mata, Pita (note the
similarity to other PIEProto-Indo-European language - Wikipedia derived
languages).
Paternal grandparents: Dada, dadi
Maternal grandparents: Nana, Nani
Father's elder brother, his wife: Taya, Tai
Father's younger brother, his wife: Chacha, chachi
Father's sister, her husband: Bua, phupha
Mother's sister, her husband: Mausi, mausa
Mother's brother, his wife: Mama, Mami
Sister, her husband: Didi, jija (usually for elder sister's
husband)
Brother's son, daughter: Bhatija, bhatiji
Sister's son, daughter: Bhanja, bhanji
And so on. They say every culture has the widest lexicon for
what really matters to them. Where a westerner would have words to describe the
immediate 'nuclear' family, perhaps till the level of 'cousins', much of the
above wouldn't have cultural value, as the social construct tends to be more
individualistic than it is in South Asia.
Perhaps this longish answer helps point out, that a cultured
Indian, from a ‘good family', would address people out of their immediate
family - as Aunty and Uncle. This is done as a sign of respect, and
establishing status in the interaction (even before interacting, each person
already knows where their perceived place in the social hierarchy).
This isn't unique to India, and tends to be prevalent where
family values are strong.
On the flip side, the term can be used as a mild perjorative.
For example, “that schoolmate of ours is so unfashionable, she's such an Aunty,
no"? "...
**
5. Marshall E. Gass, Answered July 22, 2020
..."Two days ago I asked my manager in India what ‘aunty’ really
meant. It sort of exploded in my face.
I now understand that ‘Aunty’ is used as a derogatory term
for a female with loose morals and easily available for sexual activities.
Apparently, the first time it was used to denote these permissive traits was
from movies in Southern India."...
**
6. Sonal Bavadekar,Answered March 12, 2020 [lives in India]
"Originally Answered: What are people from India referring to
when they say “auntie”?
Actually in the Indian culture there are 2 types of people
who are called auntie.
One is my mother or father’s sister, my uncle’s wife or the
wife of any male relative/family friend or an acquaintance.
Also an aunt could be an older person who is addressed as
Sarika (her name) aunty because in our culture we are taught not to adress
people older than us with their names alone. it signifies somebody older and
mature and isn’t always taken in the right spirit by many.
It’s a constant joke amongst young women in their 20’s and
30’s who are single or without a child who abhor being addressed as an aunty,
which goes like - “auntie mat kaho na (please don’t address me as an aunty)”.
:D"
**
7. Shrishti Rajput, [lives in India], Answered June 24, 2020
"I can't talk on behalf of other Indians but for me it's a
term I have used only for women/men who were married and known and older. Even
as kid it was taught to me to not call everyone and anyone an aunt or uncle.
The requisite was if I can see typical Hindu managalutra or sindoor on head.S
he might be aunty yet if she appears younger I won't call her aunty may be didi
(sis) .
However in recent times kids studying in well off schools
,call anyone or everyone an aunty/uncle. Dont be surprised if in Mumbai even
roadside shopkeeper with gray hair and bald head calls you an aunty or uncle. I
guess the word is nowadays used more like a taunt for someone who looks old or
I am not sure what!!! Because people have been going old in India for ages. But
we never called uncle or aunt etc.We in North use Didi ,bhaiya more frequently
(sis and bro for unmarried or married ).Even the word miss or mam for girls.
Do not even know where that's steming from. May be they
think aunty means something else. Educated parents/teachers teaching kids otherwise is
beyond me.
**
8. Harsha Kumar, [lives in India] Answered June 11, 2020
"Could be any woman who is older than you by at least 10 years.
But to be used only if you yourself are young, as in less than 30.
If you are 30 plus, you should call someone ‘aunty’ only if
she is related to you, i.e., she is actually your aunt, or, say mother-in-law
etc. Or maybe an old family friend.
You should NOT call someone ‘aunty’ if:
You are more than 30 years old, and you don’t know the older
woman well
The woman in question is only a little older than you
When in doubt, ‘madam’ or ‘maam’ is always safer, and much
more dignified.
I have seen that sometimes people, more commonly in North
India, call even relatively younger women ‘aunty.’ It signifies being
old-fashioned, not being well-dressed, being ‘unsexy’ etc. It is demeaning,
disrespectful, and crass, I am sorry to say, in a very North Indian way. Don’t
do it."
**
9.Ritesh Kumar, studied at R.G.U.H.S Bangalore Karnataka
(2005), Answered March 11, 2020
"Originally Answered: What are people from India referring to
when they say “auntie”?
Auntie is word used mostly by small children’s or teenagers
as they are not allowed to call names of elder ones. It’s a kind of respect.
Auntie word is also referred to old persons as a kind of
respect.
for teasing purpose similar age group people in there 30s
use this word.
it’s like you are looking like a auntie. Here auntie
referred to as some what fat, matured and tough face texture lady.
**
10. Sadhana Jayaram ,Updated March 25, 2020, [lives in India]
"In India adults are not addressed by names. So the unrelated
people, like neighbors, parents' friends ( sometimes even strangers) are
addressed respectfully as aunty and uncle. Mostly children and teenagers do
this.
In recent times, aunty has become sort of a derogatory word
too. In India, asking intrusive questions is not supposed to be rude,
especially by elders. But western manners are taking hold strongly and
youngsters resent this questioning and unabashed curiosity about their personal
lives. So the middle aged women who poke their nose into their matters are sometimes
disdainfully referred to as aunties."
**
11. Prem Chandran John, Answered July 15, 2020, [lives in India]
"Auntys are middle aged, middle class women whose primary
occupation is to interfere in the lives of people around them, mainly students,
both Male and female, younger relatives, those who have got their mark sheets,
those who date, those who dress too well or shabbily - in fact in every facet
of life of those around them. Mostly harness but also malicious often."
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"Harness" is a typo for "harmless".
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