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Saturday, April 17, 2021

What "Auntie" Means In Certain African Cultures

Edited by Azizi Powell


This pancocojams post presents excerpts from several websites about who is referred to as "auntie" in certain African cultures. 

The content of this post is presented for socio-cultural purposes.

All copyrights remain with their owners.

Thanks to all those who are quoted in this post.

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ARTICLE AND DISCUSSION FORUM EXCERPTS ON THIS SUBJECT
These excerpts are given in no particular order.

Numbers are added for referencing purpose only.

Excerpt #1

[Pancocojams Editor's Note: I am unable to read this entire Jstor article. Consequently, I'm unable to credit the author of this excerpt.]

From https://www.jstor.org/stable/25660534?seq=1

Re: African Family
Letter to the Editor Spring 2008

Dear Sirs,

We often hear the cry to extend our understanding of family beyond the traditional nuclear family.  Last year I had the opportunity to work with refugees from Uganda.  One element of conversation that regularly caused confusion was my trying to understand their family situation. Family can be a very broad and inclusive term in Africa.

Most of my Ugandan colleagues spoke English quite well and had degrees in History, Accountancy, and Education. However, I quickly learnt that we do not use the same English language when we speak of mother, brother, or daughter. We are told that in some Eskimo languages there are five words for snow compared with to one in English. French has two words for pride. In Ugandan languages the words to describe family relationships are confined to mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister. There are no simple words for aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, or cousin.  Therefore, a niece is described as a “daughter” and a nephew as a “son” and all cousins are “brothers and sisters”.  My colleagues, who are familiar with the English system, spoke of “brother cousin” or “mother aunt” and even then it can be confusing.  As for degrees, I can say that I met a grand nephew who described his departing grand aunt as his dear mother.”…

page 44 Studies vol 97, number 385"
-snip-
The words in talics were written that way in this article.

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Excerpt #2
From https://family.jrank.org/pages/134/Aunt.html
Aunt [no author cited or publishing date given]
…”In many nonindustrialized cultures, distinctions between a paternal aunt and a maternal aunt are important because they reflect authority, ties to the mother's clan, or close kinship bonds. Whether the kinship system is matrilineal (descent is traced through females) or patrilineal (descent is traced through males), the father's sister is treated as a sort of female father. Among the Bunyoro, Swazi, and Ashanti in Africa, as well as Australian aboriginal tribes, for example, the father's sister may discipline her brothers' children, commands the same respect and authority as her brother, and arranges her nephew's marriage or may forbid it if the nephew chooses an unacceptable mate (Beattie 1960; Fortes 1969; Hart and Pilling 1960; Kuper 1950; Reed 1975)."

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Excerpt #3
From https://www.wattpad.com/63051161-guide-to-being-a-nigerian-2-who-is-actually-your
"Guide to being a Nigerian"
by little reader [no publishing date given]
"In the Nigerian culture, any woman who is significantly older than you is your auntie. In the same way, any man who is significantly older than you is your uncle. This is simply a way of being polite.

Yes, your mum/dad’s sister/brother is still your auntie/uncle, but it applies with others too.

But what do I do if I want to call one auntie but I’m in a room filled with women, all of whom I refer to as auntie?!

You do one of two things:
1. You call them by their first name e. g. Auntie Mary, Auntie Jane, Auntie Bukki (it is most likely that their name will be Nigerian so pronounce it right), although I don’t particularly like this method as depending on the kind of auntie you are talking to, they may not like a “youngster” using their first name. So refer to option #2:

2. You walk up to them and say “auntie” right next to them. Yes, it is that simple. That easy.”

[…]

Comment what other ways you can think of to identify one auntie in a roomful of aunties….

[Selected Comments]
1. 
1-800-Sarcasam, Dec 09, 2017
"Honestly my white friends think I have a huge family because of that πŸ˜‚"

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2. symplyayisha99, Aug 23, 2017
"What of a situation where you 
Enter the house and you see that the house is full with all your mum's family people.
You now have to start kneeling down and be greeting them one by one.

**
3. -,  Jan 13, 2017
No it's not. I was at church one day and I went up and stood beside an aunty who was talking to another aunty an  I didn't know either of their names so I said 'hello aunty' and they both said hello and I just stared blankly XD

**
4. skittlesromance, Dec. 26, 2016
"At times my dad makes me call some women that have given birth to children πŸ‘Ά 'mummy '"

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5. PetrovaKathy, Oct 31, 2015
"An elderly person is your mummy or daddy while those that are just a bit older than you are your aunties and uncles"

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6. Brianunnacodz, August 26, 2015
"My father does the whole mummy thing. Everyone's your mother or father. I do not see it as that".

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Excerpt #4
From https://www.quora.com/Why-do-Nigerians-call-everyone-uncle-aunty-instead-of-sir-madam
"Why do Nigerians call everyone uncle/aunty instead of sir/madam?"

1. Kelechi Wachuku, Answered October 18, 2018
"I think it depends.

In my experience, one usually calls someone uncle or aunty if they’re introduced to or meet someone their parent, elder sibling, or guardian knows. This actually doesn’t seem to be Nigeria-specific, or even Africa-specific, since some friends of mine with roots in places like Ghana, India and the Philippines all tell similar stories. What’s kind of amusing is that we can become so used to saying this that we don’t realize who’s an actual aunt/uncle, another kind if relative, or a family friend.

In my case, until maybe the age of 14 or 15, there were maybe 10–12 other people I literally thought of as my aunt or uncle. The thing is, some of these people were not even from the same ethnic group, let alone country. Also, even after becoming well aware of the fact that they weren’t my uncles or aunts, it just feels weird to call them anything else other than those titles, like, say, sir or ma. Like, for one of my cousins, she calls my mother “aunty,” even though she’s very aware they’re actually cousins since my mother was well into her 20s by the time my cousin was born. On the flipside, though, my mom has only referred to my cousin as “my cousin.” It’s the same thing with one of my “uncles.” He was introduced to me in my mid teens as an uncle, but I soon became aware that he wasn’t an uncle. I still call him “uncle,” because of familiarity, but he has literally only ever referred to me to others as “my cousin.”

Sometimes, people will also call someone “uncle” or “aunty” if they feel some kind of connection with a person, but I noticed that women tend to do this the most, and the person being called that is almost always African in some way and must be older than they are. I see it all the time on YouTube. There’s a famous YouTuber called Jackie Aina, who’s half-Nigerian, and her followers routinely call her “aunty.”

I think it’s kind of like how young Korean women may call an older male “oppa (였빠),” which means older brother, though can apparently have a sexual connotation, or how boys may call an older male “hyung (ν˜•),” which also means the same thing. Then there’s “noona (λˆ„λ‚˜)” for an older female if your male, and “unnie (μ–Έλ‹ˆ)” for an older female if you’re female. Both these words technically mean older sister.[1]

Now, for sir or madam in Nigeria, they’re a different case. With sir, I’ve only known people to call a man “sir” if they are explicitly aware that the person they’re calling sir isn’t any of the aforesaid. It’s the same thing for madam in my experience, but with madam, I think it’s used more situationally. Most of the time, I think people would say ma instead of madam regardless of whether the situation is informal or highly formal. But, at the same time, I noticed that many, if not most, would say madam if she’s done something that would spark anger or irritation. So, instead of  “How are you doing today, ma?”,  it might be used in  “Madam, are you out of your mind?”,  which is kind of like how Nigerians may use “my friend” to generally mean the opposite of what it actually means."
-snip-
The words written in bold font were given that way in this comment.

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2. Onyinye, Answered August 23, 2018
"Uncle/aunt/aunty; Every older lady in any Nigerian family is an aunt. In the actual sense they may be your grandfather's brother's daughter (grandfather's neice) or some confusing story may follow. Growing in a family- oriented society where everyone is part of a big family and legacy -(1a)this one little act is a way we identify someone as your family.

b) It's also a form of respect to someone you've known for a while or long.

2. Sir/madam;

a) a formal way of exchanging pleasantries.eg to a colleague, a boss etc.

b) Also, it's common to address someone older whom you just met as madam or Sir.

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Excerpt #5
From https://www.quora.com/Is-it-common-in-your-country-or-culture-to-address-non-relatives-as-aunt-uncle-grandmother-grandfather-etc-and-in-what-situations
1. Ahmed Mohamed, Answered January 27, 2019
"I grew up in Britain however my family come from Somalia. I know both cultures and in Somali culture, it is taboo to address people old enough to be your parents or older by their first name. It is only aunty or uncle or by their profession (teacher, doctor etc). If they are elderly then it is grandmother or grandfather. Outside the Somali community I address people by their first names and stick to British cultural norms. I just adapt to the situation that im in.

Somali culture has huge respect for elders and growing up in Britain, the most individualistic society on the planet, has allowed me to see the pros and cons of both cultures. Britain in my opinion could do with respecting elders more eg not getting up for older people on the tube and not taking care of their elderly parents more however I admire the critical thinking that comes from the individualism. The British believe that respect should be earned whereas in Somali culture the elder is respected no matter how much of a flawed individual they might be."

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2. Chad Pelwan, Answered June 16, 2013
"Originally Answered: Is it common in your country or culture to address non-relatives as "aunt" "uncle" "grandmother" "grandfather" etc.?

As a South African I would have to say that, in my culture, yes. I am a coloured (which is a race defined to be neither white, black, indian or asian) and I was brought up to refer to older woman as 'aunt' or by the Afrikaans word 'tannie' and to older men as 'uncle' or 'oom' in Afrikaans. If I did not, it was always seen as disrespectful."

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Excerpt #6
From 
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-blacks-call-a-person-friend-aunt-and-uncle-when-they-arent-related 
1. Michael Koeberg, Answered February 27, 2016
"As someone else has just said, it's a sign of respect but as a South African, I can tell you a bit of how I had to do things growing up.

Down here, addressing our elders with an honorific is still the norm here may it be "Mr X", "Mrs Z" or "Uncle F" and "Aunty G" due to the high levels of social conservatism that is still to be found here and it is done regardless of ethnic/racial group.

In fact, rural custom holds that if you are over the age of 35, then you must be addressed as "Oom" or "Tannie" which is Afrikaans for uncle and aunt respectively. This is associated with the White Afrikaans community especially.

My ethnic group, the Cape Coloureds, would often use the English honorifics in place of the usual Afrikaans ones irrespective of mother tongue unless we have to employ the more formal speech registers of Afrikaans. Even then, "oom" and "tannie" are still accepted in many circumstances but is generally reserved for acquaintances and the elderly.

With the Black South Africans, expect to hear the words "tata", "mama", "UMnumzana"(Mr), "UNkosikazi"(Mrs) and "UNkosazana"(Ms.) when among the Xhosa. All the above are used in addressing the elders. The word "gogo" is often heard up in the Gauteng Province and is isiZulu for "grandmother". This word is understandably used when addressing the elder women. "Mtate" and "Umfundisi" are also to be encountered as well with the latter denoting a priest or a pastor in any particular order. This is as much as I know.

In general, while the honorifics are still in use in the countryside, their use has waned in the urban areas, esp. with Anglophone White South Africans who are now starting to take issue to it because of its old-fashioned connotations and the feeling that it's too personal among other reasons."

**
2. 
Tinashe Michael Tapera, I prefer to go by nationality, I'm Zimbabwean
Answered March 3, 2016
"
I'm Zimbabwean and I approve of Michael Koeberg's answer . I can't call an adult by their first name, it's just not how we were raised in Zimbabwe (black OR white). In fact, even in high school, we were expected to never call seniors in high school by their first name. We always used "sir" or "ma'am" ...

 If it's a family member, or someone you have a friendly relationship with, you call them aunt or uncle, because there is some level of affection in it.

In a professional or newly acquainted relationship, we just go with Mr. or Mrs. or sir or ma'am."

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